It's time for me to admit it -- writing about politics has become even more annoying than reading about politics, especially reading blogs that are about politics.

I'm already dreading the next election cycle, and I certainly don't want to post any commentary on it, so I'm exiting stage right -- you know, like 50% of Hollywood promised to exit the United States if George Bush won in 2004!

Only I'll show more commitment to my ideals . . .

But as long as you're here, you're welcome to look around at all the old, cobwebby posts and, by all means, visit the gabby little blogs I have linked in the sidebar. They aim to please.

And I can barely chew gum and walk at the same time.

Do you think our Unionized Workers culture would ever produce such a high-energy and enthusiastic display of corporate pride? Our loss, really . . .

" 'On Saturday at approximately 2:40 a.m. I will fly over the capital city of Hanoi and have my plane's right wing blown off by a Russian missile,' said McCain, adding that the force of the ejection from an aging A-4 Skyhawk should render him unconscious and break both of his arms and 'preferably [his] right leg' . . . McCain, once considered a shoo-in for the Republican presidential nomination, insisted that his upcoming stay at the Hanoi torture facility was simply a late addition to a previously planned trip to Southeast Asia, and has nothing to do with his faltering campaign."

I'm laughing so hard right now, especially because I read the McCain spoof as a follow up to this one about John Edwards:

John Edwards Vows To End All Bad Things By 2011

The writers at The Onion are on a roll . . . get it? Onion? Roll? Oh, never mind.

"AT&T is like an overweight slob that's been given a chance to date a supermodel; if it doesn't shape up soon, it'll be easily replaced . . . By iPhone (version) 5.0, Apple could be selling rival phone plans on iTunes -- and the 700 millionth iPhone user won't have to wait so long for activation as the 700,000th user did."

The BF was talking with a friend last night and the conversation turned to Apple and the recent launch of the iPhone. When the friend mentioned that he was considering purchasing AT&T stock, the BF laughed and said, "Don't -- AT&T seems hot right now because of its association with the iPhone, but AT&T is just a tool for Apple's growth, not the star of the game."

Personally, I think Google and Apple have a brewing Wi-Fi partnership up their collective sleeves.

"Imagine, for instance, a single gadget that can deliver TV shows, terrestrial radio stations, cell phone calls and broadband, depending on how it's programmed; or a cell phone equipped with the intelligence to detect the strongest signals in a particular area and change the phone's settings to subscribe to them, regardless of whether they belong to a GSM, CDMA or some other type of network."

I'm closing my eyes, breathing deeply, visualizing . . .

Several people sitting in the lobby instantly swarmed one of the tallest players, thrusting photos at him for autographs. Little did we realize that we were in the presence of one of China's most famous up-and-coming basketball stars -- Yi Jianlian.

"The Bucks could entertain trade offers for 7-foot power forward Yi, who skipped a trip to Milwaukee to join China's national team to train in Dallas."

It's difficult to grasp how large a 7 foot man is until you actually see one walk into the room.

The photo was snapped discreetly on the new iPhone (of course).

No lines. No hassle. No wait. No mad crowds. Just pleasant sales people and a rather genial, upbeat atmosphere with people casually milling about the store.

Don't get me wrong, while we were there it was a steady stream of customers plunking down their credit cards for iPhones and accessories, but all those geeks who wasted their day camped out in the heat and sun just so they could be first in line?

Suckers.

Not a particularly great photo, but I thought I should have some visual proof to back up the claims.

UPDATE:
After using the iPhone for a day, I admit to being impressed and a little frustrated at the same time.

1.) Connection speed -- I was already an AT&T customer for my Blackberry service, so the slow Internet connectivity that seems to be driving other people crazy is just par for the course in my book. I'm used to web pages taking forever to load on the Blackberry, and it's no different for the iPhone, except for one major difference: the pages that load on the iPhone are beautiful, colorful and look like the real deal rather than some stripped-down, squashed-up version.

The ability to zoom in on webpages is such a no-brainer that I wonder why no one else ever offered such capability before.

2.) It's awesome that my cell phone and my iPod are now one device. I don't have to take both my phone and iPod with me when I go to the gym, out for coffee, etc.

3.) I have to admit to being perplexed that Bluetooth file transfer capability has been disabled. Whatever for?

4.) As per the iPhone being revolutionary? It is, in ways that are different than people expected. Being able to purchase the phone and then go home and hook it up on my computer in about five minutes? That's revolutionary. A simple interface that pretty much anyone can figure out without consulting a manual or pulling out your hair? Again, revolutionary. I lugged around a Nokia 8800 for a while and hated it -- clunky interface that was about as far away from intuitive as a cell-phone operating system could be. I could never figure out how to get the damn thing to connect to the Internet (except to go to the Nokia website where they pleaded with me to buy ringtones, themes and wallpapers, of course) -- and don't get me started on the 8800's non-QWERTY keyboard. Ugh.

5.) Email on the iPhone is great, and I have very little trouble with using the virtual keyboard for emails, text messages and notes. Yeah, it requires a bit of attention, but so did my Blackberry when I first used it and I grew accustomed to that soon enough. I've had the iPhone for a day, so complaining that the virtual keyboard might be awkward and difficult seems premature, especially when it's only mildly awkward and difficult.

I wish it had more storage space than 8GB, that it had an instant messaging program and that ATT&T's network was faster, but the iPhone does have WiFi and it's stunningly beautiful with its vibrant colors and bright screen. Wearing polarized sunglasses didn't even cause a problem when using the phone, and I've never experienced that before with a cell phone.

I'm waiting for iTunes to start offering ringtones in about five seconds . . .

1.) "Writing for the majority, Chief Justice Roberts said '…Discussion of issues cannot be suppressed simply because the issues may also be pertinent in an election. Where the First Amendment is implicated, the tie goes to the speaker, not the censor.' " -- McCain-Feingold's Lesson in Free Speech

2.) "A massive protest was held in Caracas on Wednesday against the Chavez government's removal of a leading opposition TV station, Radio Caracas Television (RCTV)." -- Massive Protest For Press Freedom in Venezuela!

3.) Jim DeMint Nails It: "This immigration bill has become a war between the American people and their government. The issue now transcends anything related to immigration; it's a crisis of confidence between what the American believe our government is and should be, and what it is now and what they perceive it to be . . . This vote today is really not about immigration. It's about whether or not we're going to listen to the American people and realize we need to proceed more carefully and in a more senstive manner and appear to be listening to the concerns of the American people." -- Cloture Dies Hard

It's all fine and good to topple dictators while making grand speeches about democracy and freedom, but democracy and freedom cannot hold when governments and representatives refuse to hear and/or actively seek to muzzle the voice of their own citizenry.

While Hugo Chavez was busy yanking a TV station off the air for its criticisms of his policies, Harry Reid was circumventing established Senatorial process to cut off debate on the Senate Immigration Bill despite massive citizen opposition and Trent Lott was publicly lamenting the power of Talk Radio, musing aloud as to whether there's something that can be done about it . . . so it's especially refreshing to see the Venezuelans march for free speech at the same time as citizens in this country gird for battle against what looks increasingly to be a Political Class that's wrested control of the country for its own personal gain.

Chavez, Reid and Lott? It's getting harder to tell the difference anymore.

Nifong disbarred by committee

"The case we have here is a clear case of intentional prosecutorial misconduct," Williamson said. "This should be a reminder to everyone that the facts matter. It's not the allegation."

What I find most significant about the committee's decision to disbar Nifong is that they "unanimously agreed with the bar on almost every charge, finding that Nifong's actions involved 'dishonesty, fraud, deceit and misrepresentation' " . . . !

It would seem that the way has now been smoothly and sweetly paved for the three Duke Lacrosse players to sue the hell out of Nifong for malicious prosecution. While criminal prosecuting attorneys, such as Nifong, are normally protected from malicious prosecution suits ("I was just doing my job, ma'am!"), the allegations by the bar and the subsequent ruling of the committee would appear to be a big, bright green light for the attorneys representing the players and their families (not to mention a huge target now painted on Nifong's sweaty brow).

Unless the players and their families turn out to be the most forgiving people on the frickin' planet, I suspect things will soon get even uglier for Nifong (and the city of Durham).

I also have to wonder if Duke University will find itself embroiled in a civil suit, as well, alleging slander and libel by Duke faculty members who were supported by Duke administration. Yes, people have the right to say what they want, but sometimes "saying what you want" turns into outright slander and defamation against innocent people, and the law provides recourse in those instances.

People may not like this inconvenient fact, but Free Speech isn't always free, and it's not always protected. You can say whatever you like about the government without getting your head chopped off, but you can't publicly denounce innocent individuals as rapists without getting a lawsuit sandwich shoved indiscreetly up your a**.

" U.S. foreclosure filings surged 90 percent in May from a year earlier as more homeowners fell behind on their monthly mortgage payments . . . A jump in foreclosures at a time of year that traditionally is the busiest for home sales means the slide in prices probably isn't over, said James Saccacio, chief executive officer of RealtyTrac."

If you're looking for a reason as to why everyone in the stock market is fleeing into long-term bonds, look no further. Numerous talking heads are warning that the worst is yet to come regarding the housing market crash, and that we aren't likely to see any signs of recovery until mid-2008, at best.

The sky isn't falling, but a growing number of people are hit hard by a real estate bubble that's burst all over their home-ownership dreams, and it's getting worse -- add to that a Congress that's insistent on pushing amnesty for millions of illegal aliens (exacerbated by costs that would then be pushed up by higher wages across the board, plus millions of people now available for state and federal welfare assistance) and we have a perfect storm of economic turmoil on our hands.

Is anyone in Washington paying attention? Or are they too blinded by the 2008 elections to even notice? Oh, never mind -- I already know the answer to that question.

"AT&T called [Cramer] on Friday asking him if he wanted one. "It amazes me that they needed to do that because I have an Apple store a mile from me and an AT&T store basically across the street from where I live," Cramer said. "I thought that's where I would get my iPhone, but AT&T assured me that they won't have it." Jim mentioned that this shows there is a scarcity of the phone . . ."

Great. I guess since I refuse to camp out in front of an Apple store, I'll have to wait until supply catches up to crazed techno-device demand -- and I was so looking forward to throwing away my Blackberry.

That's the thanks I get for not being a fanboy.

Screaming and crying, Paris Hilton was escorted out of a courtroom and back to jail Friday after a judge ruled that she must serve out her entire 45-day sentence behind bars rather than in her Hollywood Hills home.

"It's not right!" shouted the weeping Hilton, who violated her parole in a reckless driving case.

"Mom!" she called out to her mother in the audience.

You just know, after all this is over, that she's gonna hit the talk show circuit, write a book, executive produce a TV movie -- all about the high glamor of her low misery.

I'm dreading it already.

Kindof.

"Thousands of people fled their homes in panic on the Indonesian coast after hoax text messages spread, warning them that a tsunami will hit the region . . . "The possibility is that a tsunami may take place on June 7," said part of a short telephone text message (SMS) that is widely circulating in various coastal areas of Nusa Tenggara province."

And it gets worse:

"However, most residents refused to return to their coastal home fearing if the rumour should come true . . . "

I guess anyone who flees to the hills on the basis of an anonymous text message isn't much for clear thinking to begin with.

I'm the world's only true democrat, says Putin

"In an interview with Western media released on Monday, (Russia's President Vladimir Putin) rejected Western criticism that he has centralized power in the Kremlin, marginalized the opposition and increased state control over the media . . . "Of course I am an absolute, pure democrat. But you know the problem? It's not even a problem, it's a real tragedy. The thing is that I am the only one, there just aren't any others in the world."

Yes, certainly, I've always considered murdering one's critics to be the basic tenet of absolute, pure democracy . . . puts you right there in the same league with Ghandi, you know?

I swear -- between Iran, North Korea, Venezuela and now Russia, we're seeing competition for The Crazy Crown really heat up.

"Nationalists and extreme Russian Orthodox believers held icons and denounced homosexuality as "evil" while a group of thick-set young men turned up with surgeon's masks, which they said would protect them from the "gay disease" . . . Richard Fairbrass, a gay singer with the British pop group Right Said Fred, was punched in the face and kicked by anti-gay activists while speaking to Reuters in an interview."

What's the world coming to when a self-respecting one-hit wonder disco singer can't speak to a reporter on the streets of Moscow without getting socked in the jaw for trying to spread his "gay disease" . . . ?

"How could something sick feel so fabulous!"

"The men’s forecast straddles . . . a warm range of brown and buff tones, like Mane and Cavern . . . offset by inky blues and purples, slate grays and vegetable greens . . . Entitled “A New Order” and incorporating many mythical or magical ideas, this palette addresses the ongoing revolution in American men’s style, and suggests that the modern man may be seeking more primordial roots through color."

Uh . . . "mythical" and "magical"? The modern man may be seeking "more primordial roots through color"? What the hell does any of that even mean?

Yo, fashion industry mavens -- how's about we lay off the freshmen year psychobabble already and just sell me a pair of frickin' shoes . . . Oh! Like these Jo Ghost boots!