The News of the Day
The Comprehensive Immigration Reform Bill didn't pass? What Immigration Bill? What the hell are you talking about? Shush now, while I pay attention to the REAL news:

Screaming and crying, Paris Hilton was escorted out of a courtroom and back to jail Friday after a judge ruled that she must serve out her entire 45-day sentence behind bars rather than in her Hollywood Hills home.

"It's not right!" shouted the weeping Hilton, who violated her parole in a reckless driving case.

"Mom!" she called out to her mother in the audience.
You just know, after all this is over, that she's gonna hit the talk show circuit, write a book, executive produce a TV movie -- all about the high glamor of her low misery.
I'm dreading it already.
Kindof.