Homocon

'Apocalypto' is a Greek term which means "an unveiling" or "new beginning." The script is, apparently, some super-dooper top-secret you-reveal-it-you-die kind of thing, but is said to contain an abundance of Gibson's now signature in-your-face action and brutal violence, with Mr. Mel eschewing the likes of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt for a cast of unknowns and/or lesser knowns for the film's protagonists, much as he did with 'The Passion'.

Gibson's bankrolling the flick himself, and while Disney has stepped up to the distribution plate, they've only been offered a rent-a-system deal where they get only a fraction of the film's profits for the use of their extensive distribution network.

"We couldn't be more excited about working again with Mel and his team," said Dick Cook, chairman of Walt Disney Studios. "This is one of the most original and unique scripts we've had the opportunity to read recently, and we plan for this to be an anchor of our summer schedule." Translation: 'Oh, please, dear frickin' god, we need to show a profit before we're all out of a job!'

A Mayan language film set three thousand years in the past as the anchor of their summer schedule? I'll be interested in seeing how that all plays out. But with the past success of 'The Passion' (the most successful 'R' rated film ever . . . even beating out Saturday Night Fever and 'Seven'), you gotta know that every single news network and entertainment show will be giving Gibson enough free advertising to save him a bundle while pushing his little movie into must-see status before a single television commercial is purchased.

While I'm not a big Mel Gibson fan, I did think 'Payback' was terrific, and despite being a dedicated atheist, I had to step back and admire Gibson's sheer creative drive and vision as he near singlehandedly produced an uber-religious theatrical event in the face of unanimous media derision. I was not surprised at the film's success, however, unlike the film snobs critics employed by most major urban newspapers. I did, after all, grow up in a devoutly Christian household, and once attended a live Passion Play when I spent a summer in Branson, Missouri in 1983. The place was packed, and everyone clearly enjoyed the spectacle unfolding before them, even though every single audience member knew how the story would end.

It wouldn't have taken a credentialed genius to look around that sold-out amphitheater and think, "Hey, there's some money to be made here," so the only surprise, really, about 'The Passion' is that somebody else in Hollywood hadn't filmed such a dramatic and bloody piece long before Gibson waltzed into the picture.

'Apocalypto', apparently, will not be religiously themed, though I do have a sneaking suspicion that the title was chosen in order to deliberately confuse the unwary. "Apocalypto? Isn't that the sequel to 'The Passion' -- you know, where Jesus comes down from heaven and kicks armageddon ass? No? Drat -- and here I already bought my ticket . . . oh well, one tanker-trunk sized popcorn, please -- and no skimping on the butter like last time, pal. "

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And rip-snortingly funny . . .