Acting Out: Volume 3
In what has to be one of the biggest WTF moments I've ever had the misfortune to experience, the Russian courts have given the ok for a Russian astrologer to sue NASA for "upsetting the balance of the universe" by conducting their July 4th experiments on the Tempel 1 comet.
Marina Bai, a dollar-grubbing New Age Whore (doing a reasonably able Jesse Jackson impersonation), is seeking to shake down NASA for $310 million dollars for "moral damage compensation" over the Deep Impact probe, claiming that NASA's scientific investigations into the composition of the Tempel 1 comet is "an attempt against the natural life in space" while also corrupting her own sentimental memories. Ms. Bai says that when her grandfather met her grandmother, he showed her the Tempel 1 comet in the sky, which marked the start of their romance. Therefore, claims Ms. Bai, NASA has raped her memories, deformed her horoscope and gratuitously ass-spanked her spiritual life -- without even so much as a how do ya do.
A lower court in Russia threw out the case initially, ruling that the Russian courts had no jurisdiction over NASA (instead of ruling that, oh gee -- I don't know, the case has no merit?!), but a higher court has overturned that ruling and has allowed the case to proceed. Hearings are scheduled for late in July.
Meanwhile, a farmer in India is suing the North American Beef Congress (NABC) for $250 million for what he claims is the organization's blatant disregard for his spiritual and moral values through their promotion of the sacred cow as a major food source, a group of fisherman off the Isle of Crete have joined in a class action lawsuit against the American Institute of Biological Sciences (AIBS) for $600 million in compensation for the emotional duress of having their town of Elounda, with the Lagoon of Mermaids, referred to as "that sunken pond full of Manatees", and the Hualapai Indian Tribe is suing the U.S. Bureau of Reclamation for $400 million plus $3 billion in emotional damages for decimating their sacred spaces and drowning all their spirit guides during construction of the Hoover Dam.
Comments
That "dollar-grabbing New Age Whore" blast was freaking hilarious, HC!
Keep it up.
Posted by: Ted | July 6, 2005 1:10 AM
Reminds me of the list of folks I wanted to sue after my last car accident:
The idiot that hit me;
Their parents for having them;
Their grandparents (if still alive);
The county for allowing them to own a car;
The state for allowing them to operate said car, and building the roads, and issuing the license plate and driver's license, and allowing the car to pass inspection;
GM for making the car;
Goodyear for making the tires;
All the various parts companies that made parts for the car;
The US Government for building the Eisenhower Interstate Highway System (without which the automobile might not have been as popular) and creating the economy and regulations that allowed the automaker to flourish and this person to buy a car;
Their employer for giving them a job so they could buy the car;
Their bank for lending them the money to buy the car;
The car dealer (or individual) that sold the car to this person, who was obviously too incompetent to operate a motor vehicle...
Think I would have had some cases? Wonder if Gloria Allred or Thomas Mesereau would have taken them...?
______________________
Homocon sez:
You mean, now that Mark Geragos is so *not* the lawyer of the moment anymore?
Posted by: Phillip | July 6, 2005 5:03 AM
Russian courts haven't yet picked up on the term "frivolous lawsuit", have they? Or "completely wacko" for that matter. Since I had already posted on Deep Impact, I added a quote from yours as an update ...
http://grannytiger.blogspot.com/2005/07/celestial-fireworks-courtesy-of-deep.html
Posted by: Mona | July 6, 2005 6:50 AM