Homocon

John Q. Doe, in his mid-40's and with access to the best information in the modern world regarding HIV transmission, has contracted a highly aggressive and drug-resistant strain of the HIV virus after engaging "in unsafe sex with many partners while he was using crystal meth-amphetamine . . . the patient told investigators that he had sex with more than a hundred people over several months and could not remember many of their names."

Oh-kay.

Here we have a serious, lethal virus which is spread through sexual transmission, and yet apparently RETARDED faggots are voraciously and anonymously fucking their way through densely populated metropolitan areas, high out of their limited minds and with obviously no safety precautions taken. As a result, society is now dealing with a mutated virus that's maddeningly resistant to nearly every single pharmaceutical that's been painstakingly developed over the years to keep people who've become infected with the formerly less-aggressive HIV virus alive.

Wow. Three cheers for the modern, sexually liberated gay man.

But I have just the solution to America's mutating HIV virus problem. I've developed a simple, 3-point questionnaire to help society identify stupid gay men who are likely to engage in moronic, socially destructive and imbecilic virus-mutating behavior. Once identified, these Frickin' A**hole Gays (F.A.G.s) can then be tagged and relocated for the general health and well-being of the population as a whole:

Questionnaire:

1.) Are you gay? If the answer is "yes", please proceed to question #2.
2.) Are your present and/or future contributions to society worth spending valuable research time and taxpayer dollars to save (should the need arise), or do you just like snorting blow and making it like a bunny? If your answer is "I just like snorting blow and making it like a bunny", please proceed to question #3.
3.) If we were to quarantine you for the rest of your life on an island with other F.A.G.s who just like to snort blow and make it like bunnies, while promising to provide weekly drop-flights of canned food, bottled water, designer hair products and cheap blow (natch), would this be acceptable to you?
addendum: If your answer to #3 is "no", please turn yourself in to the nearest State Mental Health Facility for an intensive psychiatric examination followed by prolonged care, including an overdue introduction into socially responsible behavior.